Sharing Grief
Be NEAR your grief and move toward healing.
This week I am sharing from Martha Whitmore Hickman’s book “Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief.”
She begins today’s meditation with A quote by Robert Frost –
“... All those who try to go it sole alone,
Too proud to be beholden for relief,
Are absolutely sure to come to grief.”
Hickman writes, “Those who, out of pride or for any other reason, try to go it alone are in for a hard time.
Nowhere is this more true than in dealing with the loss of a loved one. We are already lonely–for the one we have lost. To be sure, no one can fill that particular space–and we wouldn't want anyone to–but that emptiness does make us more needful of loving and supporting relationships in the rest of our lives.
The work of grief is hard work, and we need people to help us–to listen, to hold us, to remember our loved one with us, to give us their wisdom.
There is a story of a little girl who got home from visiting her friend later than her mother had expected. When her mother asked the reason for the delay, the child said ‘I was helping Jan. Her doll broke.’ The mother asked, ‘Did you help her fix it?’ The child said, ‘No. I helped her cry.’” (Hickman, July 21)
Set an intention– Allow a friend to share your tears. We all need people to help us cry.
NOTICE
Who comes to mind as a person who can share your tears with you? What stops you from reaching out to them? Give yourself permission to ask for help. In this busy world, even our close friends may not be able to know what we need from them. This doesn’t mean they don’t care.
EMOTIONS
How are you feeling today? If your emotion were a plant, what kind of plant would it be? Would it have blooms that are open and reaching toward the sun? Or maybe you’re feeling more like a cactus—prickly? Whatever you are feeling, validate your emotion. Name it to tame it. Know that this too shall pass.
ACTION
Treat yourself to purchasing a new plant today. Go to a store or plant nursery and choose something you might not have opted for before. Enjoy the plants around you and allow yourself to be drawn to one.
REFLECT
Are there times you were there for others and helped them cry? What was that like for you as the person supporting another? Give yourself permission to share your pain and ask for support.
Note: The audio's background music ("Gold Standard") is provided by:
https://www.purple-planet.com. Images provided by Canva.