Experiencing Grief
This week I am sharing from Martha Whitmore Hickman’s book “Healing After Loss, Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief.”
She begins her meditation with A quote by Marcel Proust – “We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full.”
Hickman writes, “There is no skirting around the suffering of grief. If we are to incorporate this event into our lives, we must walk through the center of our suffering, with our eyes open.
We may be tempted to do otherwise–to save ourselves from this pain.
It doesn’t work. What we try to avoid will stay, demanding its due, the pain compounding like unpaid interest as we add to the burden of loss the burden of trying to hold the pain at bay.
To be sure we can take “breathers” as we’re able– and we need to, to keep our emotional health intact. It is a fine balancing act–when to seek diversion and when to let the full measure of loss declare itself.
We find this out by trial and error. When the pressure begins to build–a sense of being pushed by an unspoken agenda–it’s time to release that pressure by being present to our sadness. We don’t have to do it alone. Sometimes a friend can listen, without trying to gloss over our grief or burden us with well-meaning advice. A grief group is especially helpful–people who understand that we need to talk about it–again and again and again.” (Hickman, July 14)
Today’s Intention– “I will be present to my grief; it is my only way to new life.”
NOTICE
What do you think about being present with your grief? Notice what thoughts or emotions come up for you. Take a deep breath inand slowly exhale when you are ready, and just be in this moment. Notice what is coming up for you.
EMOTIONS
Name the emotion you are experiencing. If this emotion were a bird, what bird would it be? Imagine the variety of birds and what bird represents your grief today? A fast or slow bird? A big or tiny bird? Would it be an ostrich putting its head in the sand, a chicken racing around, or a parakeet sleeping on its perch needing rest?
ACTION
Today’s activity is to listen to the sound of birds I am including. It is a 10-minute audio, so listen to part of the audio for a time that is appropriate for you to relax and imagine a calm place.
I want you to relax and imagine a calm place. Allow yourself to imagine you are in a lush garden surrounded by peaceful plants and trees with the sound of birds around you. And allow the singing of the birds to bring healing. Nature can be so healing. What do you notice as you listen to the song of these birds?
REFLECT
What was it like to imagine a healing garden? How might sitting in nature guide your healing journey? Reflect on how you want to honor your loss and find a way to enjoy the day. Pay attention to the little things like birds singing, and butterflies flying, and the sound of children laughing. Hope you have a beautiful day.
Note: The audio's background music ("Inspirational Africa") is provided by: https://www.purple-planet.com
and the bird songs are provided by pixabay. Images provided by Canva.