Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

You are invited to come N-E-A-R Grief and move toward healing.

Intention

Set an intention today not to sweat the small stuff.

NOTICE

What is the “small stuff” right now? Sometimes after a death or a significant loss, it shifts our perspective about what really matters. Notice what matters most to you right now. What if I suggest that it is okay to make peace with imperfection? Richard Carlson wrote a book called “The Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” and he states, “Whenever we want to have something a certain way, better than it already is, we are engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being grateful for what we have, we are focused on what’s wrong with something and our need to fix it. Eliminate the need for perfection in all areas of your life, and you’ll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.” This new reality with our loss is often not the life we wanted. We would do anything to fix or change this reality. What if this pain leads us to a new discovery? Notice what this could mean for you. And with grief, it is okay to take one day at a time. You might not be there yet. Grief will be anything but perfect. 

EMOTIONS

How are you feeling today? If your emotions were a hat, what kind of hat would it be? Would it be a stylish tophat or a fuzzy stocking hat? Would it be a baseball cap or a beanie? What color would your emotion be if it were a hat? Just imagine.

ACTION

Imagine that you could take off this grief-hat anytime. When would you most want to set it aside and not wear it? If only grief were as easy to put on or off at our convenience as a hat. Practice self-compassion today. Sometimes with grief you may not get to choose how big or heavy your hat is on a given day. You can be gentle and kind with yourself. 

REFLECT
As you listen to this music that I’m about to play, reflect on words or images that come to mind. Where do you feel the music in your body? Take a moment and think about what you are missing today most about your loved one. Allow the music to create a safe place to hold your thoughts and feelings. As you listen to the tune called “Awakening,” I want you to visualize any emotions, thoughts, or memories drifting into a giant sturdy balloon. Allow this balloon to be a safe container to hold whatever you need it to hold for you. Now imagine that you can tie a knot at the end of this balloon and attach a string. Picture this balloon safely holding space for your loss and allow it to float upward just far enough so that it is in a safe place whenever you want to visit these thoughts or emotions or memories. You can reach for the string attached to the balloon anytime you wish. And for now as you go about your day, it is safely held inside the balloon. Reflect on this container and what it means to have a safe place to temporarily hold and keep your emotions, thoughts, and memories. I recommend that at some point today you take time to write in your journal what memories or thoughts you put inside the balloon to safely hold. Now take a deep breath in, let your belly rise, hold for a moment and when you are ready exhale slow and controlled. Have a beautiful day. 

Note: Background music on the audio is provided by: https://www.purple-planet.com. Images provided by Canva.

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To the Moon and Back

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Creating an Ally