Creating an Ally
You are invited to come N-E-A-R Grief and move toward healing.
Intention
Set an intention to find sacred space to honor your loss today. It could be done by writing a letter, a poem, playing your loved one’s favorite song, or lighting a candle. And just taking a moment to say, “I miss you.”
NOTICE
I am going to share a quote by Washington Irving. When hearing his words notice your response. He writes, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”
EMOTION
How are you feeling right now? I am intentionally using the phrase “right now” because, with grief, your emotions may change several times. Just focus on what you are feeling at this moment. What does it feel like to allow your tears to speak for you when you have tears? What messages are your tears carrying or what messages have they carried?
ACTION
This activity is designed to help you create a supportive figure. Imagine an animal or fictional character that can be 100% supportive. Take a moment and imagine what this figure might be, who this might be. Is it close by, in front of you, or behind you? How large is this support figure, we will call this your “Ally.” If you are comfortable, close your eyes and imagine details around you and your Ally. What colors, smells, or sounds are you noticing? Where are you and your Ally - outside or inside? Are you sitting or walking? Now imagine what message your ally has for you. Would your Ally speak or be sharing space in silence with you? Notice how it feels to have a 100% supportive Ally. This Ally is safe and here for you. Put your right hand over your heart and cross your left arm over that arm. Allow yourself to feel the warmth of your hand covering your heart. Imagine your Ally’s comfort flowing through your body. Where do you notice tension in your body? Take a deep breath in . . . and when you are ready . . . slowly exhale. Allow your shoulders to relax a little. Take a moment to thank your Ally for being here and know that you can call upon your Ally anytime that you need them. Is there a word or phrase that comes to your mind that you can associate with the comfort your Ally brings? Or is there a message that your ally brings to you like— “You’ve got this,” … “You are not alone,” … “It’s okay to rest.” What is the message your ally brings to you?
REFLECT
Grief can cause loneliness to increase its powerful clutch upon your heart. There is something about this world that has changed with your loss, and it will never quite be the same again. Reflect on how big the loss feels and allow yourself to recognize that this depth of pain shows the depth of your love. With great love comes great pain. I don’t know about you, but I am willing to experience the pain to see the depth of love that accompanies the loss. Someone I admire said that “joy and grief are connected; the only difference is the distance between them.” How can you reflect on your loss even in the pain and see that it once was connected to joy and how can you trust that the distance will continue to get greater and greater between the pain of your grief.